Digging Deeper

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”.

Hebrews 13:8

As we talked about in my previous post—I lost myself again. In this very moment, I am working towards putting pieces of myself back into place, however, God placed this truth on my heart back in May when I began struggling: “I am still good, loving, and forgiving; I am still here—even when you’re lost“. Life and its circumstances are constantly going to change—but Jesus doesn’t change. His character and His love for each and every one of us never shifts or wavers. He still pursues us even when we’ve lost our spark to pursue Him.

“Draw near to me and I will draw near to you” -Jesus

James 4:8

It can be easy to write off God because we don’t always get to feel His presence tangibly. But God’s power and faithfulness aren’t defined by our feelings. Read that again. God’s power and faithfulness aren’t defined by our feelings. I need to remind myself of this constantly. I sit down to do my devotions and I get so angry because I feel that time and time again I’ve set my heart in a posture to hear from the Lord and He never shows. I feel that God only continues to disappoint me. I told this to my counselor yesterday and she asked me, “Malia, what are you waiting for God to do”. Friends, I have no idea. I have no clue what I’m hoping God will do, I just want to know that He is here. And He is—even when I don’t feel Him. If we draw near to Jesus, He promises to draw near to us. God always keeps His promises. He may not show up in ways that we are hoping, but He will never go against His word. Draw near to Jesus friends; keep pursuing your Jesus. It may feel like His presence is absent, but I promise you that He is there. He desperately longs to hear from you. One of my favorite Psalms states,

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”

Psalm 139: 7-8

We are not alone. God is right by our side even in our struggles. God was there when a boy traumatized and hurt me—he allowed this horrible incident to bring close friends into my life that I could grow closer to. He knew that I was going to attempt to take my own life and arranged for me to have these people in my life at the right time so that I could grasp onto them when I had no hope. Jesus is always working behind the scenes for our good, friends. He is always active in our lives even when it feels dull. I know that depression feels isolating—but the Lord wants to hear from you. He is sitting with you in your depths and He is waiting for you to grasp His hand and walk along this journey of sadness with Him. Will you grab on? Will You have faith that even when you feel weak in your drought with no way out, God is still by your side? Will you have faith that even when you can’t feel God, He has promised You that He will never leave nor forsake you?

A friend and I are reading Luke together for Advent. We read a verse that I feel portrays God’s heart in such a beautiful and tender way. In Luke 7:13 it says, When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry”. Friends, Jesus sees your struggles. He weeps with you. His heart goes out to you. He is loving, caring, and compassionate. The Lord is fighting for you. There is hope. Have faith. Pursue your Jesus. Grab onto His hand and let Him lead you through your drought.

Jesus loves you and so do I,

-Malia