Digging Deeper

Do you ever feel discouraged in your walk with the Lord?

Does He ever feel so distant and out of reach from you?

Do you desperately crave to hear His voice, but just can’t seem to?

If so, I want you to know that you are not alone—I have been feeling this way for the past few months. Let me tell you—feeling that God is far from you becomes really draining and discouraging, BUT we are called to still be faithful and persistent in pursuing the Lord. So, I did just that—and the Lord orchestrated this beautiful way for me to hear from Him and I want to share it with you.

I have a difficult time journaling, but I enjoy doing it when I have the motivation to. I remember sitting in my bed writing, just feeling very overwhelmed. I was worried about my job and all the different tasks I needed to remember to get done that day. I was anxious about going in, but I prayed for strength and wrote down a checklist for myself (it is okay to use your spiritual journal for whatever is on your mind!). I had also just read in Galatians and wanted to jot down the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) so I could work on them and look back on them later on. I went to put my bookmark in my journal to hold my spot when I realized I had accidentally skipped ahead two pages. My OCD tendencies kicked in and I felt even more stressed out that I had done that. I was angry at myself for skipping ahead those two pages! I shut my journal and went to work frustrated, anxious, and hungry—continually praying for God to show up for and provide me with the strength only He could give. I was unsure that He would though because I had been begging for Him to show up for months before this.

However this time, the Lord did just that! He gave me the strength to bust out that cleaning shift with an hour to spare. He continued to allow me to be in a good mood and give my best to the dogs I was caring for. Once I got home, I had the desire to journal about my day—completely forgetting about the two pages I had skipped. I wrote to Jesus about how thankful I was that He was with me and gave me the strength to get through work. I kept getting bored, but I told myself to keep writing. I even used up another page so I could write down another to-do list for the next day. I went to flip the page to mark my spot with my bookmark, and there we were—back at the fruits of the Spirit I had written down earlier that day. The Lord knew that I needed those two pages to be blank. It may seem silly, but He wanted me to have them for when I got home, so that I could share with Him about my day and He wanted me to know that He was present with me in that moment. 

Friends, the Lord shows up in little ways. It may be hard to notice them at times, but God is always moving, always working, and is always present. Don’t lose hope to hear from Him. He is always working behind the scenes.

Jesus loves you and so do I,

-Malia